I'm only happy when it rains.

I love the rain. I always have.


I love the fat droplets that fall to the sidewalk like grenades, impacting with a visible splash. I love summer rain that breaks through the cloud of heat and haze. I love the lashing rain, when it rains so hard that it looks like it's falling in ribbons. I love staring into the sky when it rains. It makes the rain look like the view from the Millenium Falcon whilst hyper-jumping. I love when it rains so steadily that a river flows down my street in neatly scalloped scales. I love puddles, leaping into and over them. I love the air when it rains. I once heard that right before an electrical storm, the air is ionized and has more oxygen in it. That melted electrical storms and rain in my mind, and I still think the air feels easier to breathe when it's raining. I love it when it rains so fast and hard that you take cover with other strangers, and point with your thumb out at the deluge and say "Nice weather, ain't it?" out of the corner of your mouth. I love that feeling of "Well, this sucks, but we -- the people under this awning -- are experiencing the same suck at the same time." Commiseration is a powerful comfort.

There's a story, and I can't recall if I've written it here, that my mother tells. I'm unclear as to whether this happened when my mom was a child, or near the end of my grandmother's life when my mom was 26. I don't think it matters much either way.

My mother and grandmother were in a Natural History museum. I don't know if it was Philadelphia or New York, but they were walking along, and there was a display of Native American royalty. In wax, I think. They were walking down the line nonchalantly, when my grandmother stopped dead in front of a princess.
"That was me. Before this. That was me in my last life." The princess's name was She Who Walks in the Rain.

I never got to meet my grandmother, but she's an endless source of strength and love for me. My mother is a very vivid and emotional storyteller. I think she and I would have had a lot to talk about. We are both floaters and we are She Who Walks in the Rain.